true stories

Instead of writing a review of David Byrne’s extraorindary “staged documentary” of the town of Virgil, Texas, which stars a woman who can’t get out of bed, a weary bachelor named Louis who describes himself in a classified as “panda-bear shaped” (played by Tom Arnold), and a forty minute mall fashion show/song and dance number flaunting suits tailored of astro turf, I shall list my favorite beginnings of films, because the first ten minutes of this film are my favorite first ten minutes of all time. The beginning of True Stories is as near to indescribable as any writer can come: first there’s a seven-year-old in a white dress walking down a strip of unworn highway. The crane shot swoops in, and cuts to an image of pure ocean, recorded on old, grainy film. Byrne’s voiceover recounts the history of the physical land of Texas as if he’s lecturing to a crowd, but with the simultaneous enthusiasm of a third-grader recounting to his parents what he picked up in school that day. This history is edited from stockpile news reel file footage of dinosaurs and cavemen and everything seems to mock Ken Burns: it’s all historical inaccuracy, edited ironically. If you stop the film after ten minutes, that’s fine. They’re what counts. Anyway, as promised, my favorite beginnings

1. True Stories
2. Magnolia
3. The Royal Tenenbaums
4. Back to the Future
5. His Girl Friday
6. Me You and Everyone We Know
7. Cliffhanger!

I am trying to make myself look foolish.